Recommendation Letter

Each time when I recived a request of reference letter, I was trained in college to waive my right of reading it. My professors told me that’s how they did it, so they could be as professional as possible to deliver their true opinions on me. So when I was in Germany, I felt awkward to have to handle the “Arbeitszeugnis”, which meant, you knew what your previous supervisor’s opinion on you.

And I just received back a reference letter from my college professor. Job hunting, seriously, at 30, is not that fearless anymore. But upon reading his letter(because I had to upload to the system), although I know that’s perhaps not his way, made me drop tears.

I didn’t know, whether he meant it or not, I was that vibrantly vividly brilliant at college, when I asked to take graduate-level astronomy course when I was 19. And that I was popular at class. And that I was smart and learnt fast. I didn’t know.

He named his daughter after a star, which my name has as well. The star is in the Great Bear Constellation, Merak. Her name means “comprehending the Merak”, and mine means “the colorful Merak.”

He told me he has always wanted to move back to UK, because he did his PhD there. And he’d like his daughter to grow more freely. He told me he didn’t like US that much. He preferred collaboration rather than competition. He’s been to Oxford, MIT, and Harvard.

I guess he’s much smarter than me. So I agreed.

But today, I didn’t receive a recommendation letter, I received an encouraging letter. I finally realized that all these years, he’s sent out all those images of me, the courageous, clever, proactive and popular ones.